


faintest clue

by jayhood



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: (several times but it doesn't take), (trope-typical though), Batman: A Death in the Family, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Suicide, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24297322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayhood/pseuds/jayhood
Summary: Jason doesn’t wake up with a scream, or in tears, or coughing from thick black smoke. He doesn’t wake up: one second he is on top of Sheila, shielding her from the rubble as much as he can, the other he’s in the passenger seat of a canary-yellow Humvee.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 9
Kudos: 142





	faintest clue

Jason doesn’t wake up with a scream, or in tears, or coughing from thick black smoke. He doesn’t wake up: one second he is on top of Sheila, shielding her from the rubble as much as he can, the other he’s in the passenger seat of a canary-yellow Humvee.

“Alright, son?” Bruce asks him, looking up at him from the road, and keeps looking because Jason can’t talk yet.

It’s fine, though. Magdala Valley doesn’t have a lot of traffic. And the road is going to be pretty straight-forward for at least two miles.

Jason assumes so.

“Yeah,” he says. Because he wasn’t here yesterday. Or earlier today. It’s the first time here. It was a - Jason is nervous, okay. And napping in a moving vehicle doesn’t scream restful sleep, exactly. The road? He saw it on a map before they moved out.

That’s all.

“I’m good,” he croaks.

He is. It’s just his head is a fucked up place sometimes.

Bruce maybe believes him, maybe doesn’t know what to do with him if Jason isn’t. He diverts his attention back to driving, and until they reach the refugee camp, they are both silent.

The camp is familiar in a way that any aftermath of violence is. He knows the look on these people faces: too far away on some. Everywhere at once on others. They look tired and sick and hungry; and Jason knows tired, sick, and hungry.

Bruce asks around, and they are directed to the big tent in the middle of the camp. Jason reaches it first, in long strides. His hands clutch the tent’s wrap, and suddenly, there’s Bruce’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to meet her,” he says.

Jason licks his dry lips.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks.

It’s his mother, and he’s meeting her for the first time.

***

Jason gasps when the Humvee hits a bump on the road and Jason’s head meets with the glass on the passenger side of the car.

“You’re okay, son?” Bruce asks, glancing briefly at him and then brings his attention back to driving.

May as well not bother. There’s a couple of miles of a perfectly straight road ahead. Jason’s eyes are squeezed shut, and his hand massages his skull. It hurts, more than it should from a little bump.

Less than a crowbar.

“I don’t know,” Jason says.

“You don’t have to do it,” Bruce says immediately. “We can turn back right now. You can write her a letter, maybe. Maybe she can visit. When you are ready.”

“No,” Jason says. “She can’t go back to Gotham. Outstanding warrants and a mob boss with a grudge.”

Bruce frowns.

“So you have seen the file, then.”

Jason turns to him very slowly. He has a bad feeling.

He has to choose his words carefully.

“If you didn’t want me to read it, you should have picked a better password.”

Bruce still doesn’t blink. Doesn’t look at Jason either.

“I’m not mad,” Jason says, looking at Bruce carefully. “If that’s what you’re worried about. Just... I thought you aren’t going to keep things from me anymore.”

Bruce swallows but doesn’t say anything. Jason’s heart beats even faster.

“Is it because... You don’t trust me, do you.”

Bruce shakes his head immediately.

“No, it had nothing to do with... It was way before Garzonas.”

And Jason wasn’t talking about Garzonas.

“Stop the car,” he asks.

Bruce looks over at him then.

“Jason,” he says softly.

“Stop the car!”

Bruce does, immediately. Jason narrowly avoids a concussion from meeting the windscreen but he’s glad he’s not wearing a seat belt anyway. Just so he can be out of the car as soon as possible.

He paces, one, two, back, forth. He hits the sand. His forehead touches the knees. His breathing, he needs to control his breathing.

Bruce’s hand touches him on the shoulder, and Jason shrugs it off as he leaps to his feet and few steps away.

“You know what,” Jason says. “I can make the rest of the way by myself. I have water in my backpack, food. Some money.”

“We’re in a desert, Jason. You never have been here before.”

“I have a map,” he says. 

He doesn’t but he doesn’t need one either. He thinks.

Is that it? Did he finally snap? Did he actually snapped and pushed Garzonas as Bruce says he did, and just - forgot about it, replaced the memories with something that  _ obviously _ never fucking happened. It didn’t. Because he’s alive, and with Bruce, not dead with Sheila.

“Robin,” Bruce says sternly. “Go back in the car.”

Ha! Jason throws his jacket at the ground. Takes off his shirt, his jeans. There’s a confusion on Bruce’s face. Jason imagines him retelling their little adventure to Alfred, in the library, again. “The lad lost the plot,” he would shake his head. Alfred would sigh deeply and pat his hand. “You did the best you could, Master Bruce,” he is going to say. “There is just no helping some people.”

Ha. Jason takes his... takes off the Robin suit and throws it at Bruce’s face.

He keeps his eyes strictly on the ground when he puts his clothes back on. He picks up his backpack and goes back to the road. Bruce stays where he is, and it’s good five minutes or so before Jason hears the rumble of the engine again.

He doesn’t look back. Bruce keeps the pace.

When they reach the camp, it’s almost evening.

Nobody knows where is Sheila Haywood. That’s okay, Jason can make his own way to her tent. Bruce follows him and Jason lets him because it's too quiet here.

Jason, with one hand on the flaps of the tent, looks back at Bruce, and then past him. At a familiar green jeep. It's his fault that Bruce looks back too, and gets pistol-whipped from behind.

Jason gets a bullet in the back and doesn't even meet Sheila this time - he's pretty sure she's the one pulling the trigger.

***

"Are you alright, son?" Bruce asks.

"No," Jason says, wiping his tears. "You know what, it's a stupid idea. Let's... Let's just head back."

Bruce makes a turn. Just like that.

They hear about the explosion on the evening news, having dinner at a hotel. It's not a warehouse. It's the refugee camp.

Bruce insists that Jason has to stay at the hotel. They are checked-in under their real names. It would be suspicious if Batman and Robin showed up at the same location where anyone can look up Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd were staying nearby.

Bruce doesn't come back and doesn't respond when Jason tries to get him on the radio. Jason can try to stay awake. Jason can go to sleep. But he isn't really a patient man. He slices his veins, and then an artery just in case.

He wakes up when the Humvee hits a bump on the road. 

"You're okay," Jason breathes out, massaging his throat. 

It's obvious that Bruce wants to ask him the same thing.

"I am fine," he waves it away. "But I need to tell you something. And I know you don't trust me..."

He knows what's going to happen when he makes a pause: nothing. It still stings.

"But it's important that you believe me, alright? Life or death important."

"I'm listening," Bruce says carefully.

"Joker is going to be there, at the camp. My mom... Sheila, he's making her work at him."

"Jay, son. What are you talking about?"

"She's an embezzler. It wasn't in her file, I guess."

"You know about the file."

"You told me about it," Jason says. "Alright? That's how you can know I'm telling you the truth. It's all happened already, several times. One of these times, you assumed that I read a file where it is mentioned that she is a person of interest. Sold prescriptions to rich kids. Only one of them took too many, and it was a mob princess to boot."

"You figured out the password," Bruce says, stopping blinking, or breathing, or anything except gripping the wheel. 

"No, I didn't! I didn't even know there was a file before today. Or - three days ago. Four? I don't. I don't really know. It's like - like with Prometheus, all right? The eagle keeps pecking out my liver, and when I lose consciousness due to the blood loss and come to again, it's regrown already and the bird is right back at it. Only not, because things are different now. You were hurt, two days ago. You didn't come back at all yesterday."

Maybe he did, though.

But Jason isn't taking any chances.

"Jay," Bruce says, wary. "You are not making sense."

"I'm telling you, it's like a huge, prolonged deja-vu! I already lived through this ride, and I don't want to meet her anymore, and I would make you turn this car around if Joker didn't blow up the camp the last time I did that."

Bruce's hound touches his forehead, briefly. Then it's gone, and Bruce turns on the AC and instructs him to drink water. He turns the car back. He finds a hospital back at Tiberias. 

Something that turns up on the scans turns the doctor he paid off very concerned. 

"These spots are a sign of a healed break," he indicates on the X-Ray.

Jason is sitting on the exam table, so he's too far away from actually seeing any spots. 

"There is a lot of them," Bruce says.

"Yes. Yes, there is. More than should be, considering the boy is still alive and speaks and moves. So that's why I want to do the full medical exam. It's - frankly, the amount of the trauma is so huge and widespread, it is nothing short of a miracle. Or, a longterm abuse, if we assume those healed breaks were acquired over time."

Jason taps his fist on his thigh.

"Bruce," he tries. "We're wasting time here. I don't need a full medical. We need to - go back on the road. We are really, really needed somewhere." 

"I can account for some of these injuries," Bruce says. "I think."

Doctor scoffs at that but Bruce ignores him.

"And maybe our family doctor wasn't as diligent as she should have been," he continues, ignoring Jason's "Hey, Leslie does just fine!". "But what I'm concerned about the most, could this type of trauma lead to..."

He looks at Jason over his shoulder, clenches his jaw, and drags the doctor out of the hospital room by the elbow.

They're wasting time. Jason looks around. There's nothing easily accessible here that he can use. Except maybe the window? But the third floor, that's not great.

Jason isn't desperate enough yet to try.

He sneaks to the door, keeping his movements quiet, else he won't be able to listen in. 

"... in addition to some triggering event in the recent past, yes, yes. Very probable. Is it visual hallucinations, auditory?"

"I think it's more of a delusion. He thinks he lived this day before."

"History of schizophrenia in his family? Or any mental illness?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Huh. Did he exhibited any erratic behaviors in the past?" 

"... He started to behave very violently lately. Lying. Ran away from home and stole my credit cards."

"That's not necessarily a symptom. It could be just him being a teenager."

"No. Jason is... Jason is a good boy."

"I'm not saying he isn't. Look, I can't really tell you anything without further testing. I can get a colleague to consult. She's good. Worked at Kfar Shaul for over ten years. She is two hours by car from here. It's late, so you will need to leave him for overnight observation."

"Thank you. I think I would rather take him home. As I've said, we have a family doctor at home."

"The same one that missed all of this? The more I listen to you, the more I think it was you who put all those..."

"Thank you. I am getting my son and going home."

Bruce opens a door and sees Jason there.

"So now I'm not only a killer, I'm a headcase too?" 

Jason is breathing heavily. It is kind of painful to take deep breaths. His hands ball into fists.

Bruce flinches. He looks back at the doctor - he's a professional though, Jason thinks, keeping his face straight. And who wouldn't be, when you get paid so much.

Then Bruce tries to touch Jason's curls. Like Jason is a pet to be soothed. He dodges his hand.

"Let's talk back in the car," Bruce says.

Yeah, right. Jason wasted a lot of time here as is. He knows now that Bruce is never going to believe him. He has, he checks his watch, a little over four hours before the camp blows up. Or no, less, because the news wasn't live. He doesn't remember timestamp, though. Stupid. Bet Dick Grayson would have noticed it.

Bruce would have believed Dick Grayson though, so it wouldn't matter anyway.

Jason asks for some privacy to put his clothes back on instead of the medical gown. He does it under one minute, a habit from the earlier days. 

It seems like the window it is. Not for - yeah, he doesn't have to do it. He just needs to, here. Careful. Too high to jump yet, but if he reaches the molding on the second floor - the entrance canopy from there - yeah. He descends slowly. 

He needs to get to the other side of the parking lot, where are no cameras and some vehicles he can try his hand at hijacking. It's a total dick move, and at the hospital, too. But letting people die under the rubble, with their lungs on fire - with their whole bodies on literal fire... That's.

Joker killed him at least twice now, didn't he? And Jason wouldn't wish it on him either.

Alright,  _ maybe  _ on Joker. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](https://redjaybathood.tumblr.com/).


End file.
